I am weak and I know, I am strong and I know, because of you

sometimes, you will feel this is so right to be there with someone who loved you so much .
I feel that, and thats made me strong .
when I had a trouble, he always support me, he always right there besides me .
when I feel so deep and so blue, he not tired to giving wonderful words for me
he is nice, and I know how much he loved me .
I was very lucky woman !!

but in the other side, I feel so weak .
I feel this is so wrong ! I have to stop it !
but I can't . . .
and this is sometimes made my day so mad !
I am going crazy to thinking all of difference between me and him .
I am going to 20 years old and I have to think mature, sure !
this is not a game this is not about a bird, or a plane that can flying so free .
its my heart, and can be hurt .
and I know, I loved him so damn ! I am so seriously with him .

LET IT FLOW
LET IT FLOW
LET IT FLOW

I just wanna stay always with him, although I know I will get sad ending in my drama later .

Drive to wherever the wind takes me
Cause I love you whether it's wrong or right
And though I can't be with you tonight
And though my heart is by your side


I never know what the future brings, but I know you are here with me now
We will make it through, and I hope you are the one I share my life with


I just hope and believe .
let me loving you . always . .

HOPELESS

banyak yang berubah, secara sadar dan tak sadar .
saat saya menulis ini, di luar hujan, and do you know guys?
Rain is the one reason I have to stay always in the world *apasih*
pokoknya saya suka hujan, sangat sangat suka ^.^

apa anda pernah, ada dipersimpangan jalan yang kemudian membuat anda merasa tidak berguna?
saya merasa seperti itu . sebentar lagi umur saya 20 tahun dan saya merasa belum memberi apapun, kontribusi sekecil apapun itu bahkan untuk diri saya sendiri . bukan berlebihan . tapi memang kadang saat anda berada di tengah keramaian dan merasa sendiri, tiba tiba blue feeling-nya muncul .
kadang saya cuma mau berteriak

 "God, please, hold my hand"

atau hanya kalimat . .

"God, huggy huggy hug me"

gak munafik banget kan, kalau seumuran saya, pasti masalahnya gak jauh jauh dari keluarga, kuliah, pacar, sahabat dan masa depan . dan secara sadar atau enggak semuanya kadang saling berhubungan .
yang paling berat itu saat anda harus menjalankan apa yang anda senangi, apa yang anda yakini, padahal anda tahu, bahwa itu tak mungkin, dan anda sangat tahu bahwa yang anda jalani ujungnya hanya akan mendapatkan kesedihan . itu yang saya lakukan sekarang .
nangis gak akan menyelesaikan masalah, but damn !!! I had been  crying crying and crying for weeks . just stuck on that moment . just sit and talking alone . its my heart and its going gone away .